


Letting Go

by shopgirl152



Series: Nexus [3]
Category: Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb
Genre: AU, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Brothers, Closure, Coping, Coping Mechanisms, Crossover, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Living with Regret, Regrets, Searching for Closure, Trying to move on, coping with loss, painful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopgirl152/pseuds/shopgirl152
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ferb has spent the past eight years living with an accident he couldn’t prevent. But when tragedy strikes a second time, he finds his life turned upside down and discovers that letting go might be the hardest thing of all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Words Left Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 inspired by: Waitin on Joe by Steve Azar.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the words we leave unspoken when a loved one dies that are destined to haunt us.

_7 a.m._

He hadn’t been the same since the accident. One minute he had left Phineas in the backyard with their chemistry set, and the next, his brother had been injured.

He’d heard the explosion from a mile away. By the time Ferb had reached the backyard, Baljeet had been in hysterics, running about wildly, shrieking something incomprehensible about Nitro Glycerin, socks, and a massive explosion.

Without thinking about it, the British boy had picked the red head up, racing him to Danville Hospital.

That had been eight years ago. Phineas had survived the explosion, but he was different somehow. Slower. The curiosity and boundless imagination was still there, shining bright as ever. But the missing right arm and stilted gait were painful reminders of the accident.

An accident Ferb should have been able to prevent. Even now, as he struggled to get out of bed and face the day, regret washed over him. The young man sighed, swinging his feet out of bed and crossing to the window. He opened it, exhaling the early morning air.

Gravity Falls wasn’t much of a place to live; it wasn’t exciting and there wasn’t a ton of stuff to do, but it provided him and his brother with gainful employment and decent pay. Employment the red head was capable of doing.

Speaking of the red head…

He looked over at the other bed. “Phin?” No response. “Phin, you awake?” The man tiptoed across the room, pulling back the covers. His heart stopped at the sight of an empty bed, ears suddenly perking up at the sound of laughter coming from below the window. Quickly, he threw on a white beater shirt, racing downstairs and out the front door.

The red head looked up, grinning at him. “Ferb!”

“What are—what are you doing out here? I thought I told you to wait for me before going outside.”

He looked apologetic. “I’m sorry Bro. I was going to wait, but then I heard a noise downstairs and had to check it out.” He motioned to some nearby bushes. “I made five new friends. Come on out guys!”

Ferb raised a brow as five perfect looking men emerged from the bushes.

“Ferb, I’d like you to meet Greggy C, Creggy G, Leggy P, Chubby Z and Deep Chris.” He leaned over, whispering conspiratorially. “Don’t tell the others, but Deep Chris is my favorite.”

“Yo Dawg. What’s up?” One of them asked.

He looked at the red head, raising a questioning brow.

“I dunno which one spoke. They kinda sound the same. They’ve been helping me come up with ideas for inventions.”

“Yeah Dawg. The way I see it, we can build a massive stadium where everyone can see us perform.”

“No. That ain’t alright Leggy P. We’re free now. Why don’t we hug a buncha trees yo?”

“Or make like a tree hugging device or something?”

“Hmm…” Phineas put his left hand to his chin in thought.

“Yo P-Man; why you only got one arm?” Creggy G asked.

“And why do you walk so funny?” Chubby Z asked. “You in an accident or something?” He tilted his head to the side, studying the red head. “Or were you born that way?”

“That is quite enough.” Ferb’s face hardened as he took a step toward the men.

“Hey, he didn’t mean anything by it,” Deep Chris spoke up. “Chubby Z’s filter is off.”

The Brit grabbed him by the shirt collar, pulling the other man toward him until he was nose to nose with him. He pointed to the red head. “I don’t need some insensitive wild men harassing my brother.” He threw Deep Chris to the ground, growling. “Off with you. Shoo. Go back to the forest.”

The men scurried into the forest, whimpering.

“Why did you do that?” Phineas looked at him, confusion written all over his face. “Those were my new friends. Why’d you chase them off?”

“They were harassing you. Real friends don’t harass people in your…” his gaze trailed over the missing limb. “…condition.”

“My condition?” The red head glared at him. “Don’t coddle me Ferb; just because my arm is missing and I walk with a limp doesn’t mean I can’t defend myself.”

The Brit stared at him.

“Go ahead and say it. I’m weak. That’s how you’ve been treating me ever since the accident; you treat me like a little kid who needs to be protected and coddled. I’m more than capable of doing things on my own. I can get around just fine.” Ferb went to say something, only to stop as his brother held a hand up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going into the back to work on an invention I started.”

“You can’t invent.” He clamped a hand over his mouth.

“I can invent just as well as anybody. All it takes is some minor modifications.” Phineas stared at him. “Is there anything _else_ you wanna tell me?”

“We start a new job out on the river today. The new boss wants us at the dock by ten.”

“Fine. I’ll be there.” The Brit went to say something else, only to have his brother interrupt him. “And no, I don’t need you to drive me. I’ll take the car. That _I_ modified.”

“Don’t be late.” His brother glared at him and he held up his hands in surrender. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

* * *

_10:05 a.m._

Ferb stood at the edge of the dock, impatiently tapping his foot. He took a step forward, glancing up and down the street.

“Mr. Fletcher?”

He turned around, eyeing the man standing in front of him. “Yes?”

“Name’s Stan Pines.” He vigorously shook the man’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. You were the one who called about the job right? You and your brother?” He nodded. “Wonderful. Now where is he?”

“He appears to be running a bit behind.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’m afraid I can only wait ten more minutes for him to show up. I have to move these crates outta here soon or I’ll lose my money.” The man glared at him. “Do I make myself clear?” Ferb nodded wordlessly. “Good.” Stan left without another word.

The Brit sighed, glancing across the street at Greasy’s Diner. A slight smile quirked his lips as he made his way over, the bell above the door tinging as he stepped inside. He found a booth and sat down, staring at the sugar packets.

“Hey Ferb. What can I get you this morning?” A man wearing a white apron and a blue and white baseball cap with a blue pine tree on the front smiled at him. “The usual?”

He nodded.

“Where’s your brother this morning? You two are hardly ever apart.”

“Late.”

Dipper nodded knowingly, disappearing behind the counter a moment before reemerging with a steaming pot of coffee in one hand. He poured the Brit a cup before motioning to the opposite side of the booth. “Mind if I join you a moment? Lazy Susan should have your order in a few minutes.” He motioned around the diner. “We’re not real busy this morning.”

Ferb nodded as the other man slid into the booth across from him.

“Is everything alright? You seem down this morning. Quieter than usual.” He paused in thought. “Is Phineas—“

“We got into an argument this morning.”

“Oh. Wow. That’s a drag. I know how it goes though; fights with siblings are always tough.”

“I belittled him. Implied he was weak and needed protection.”

“Ouch. Where is he now?”

He shrugged.

Dipper waved the gesture away. “I wouldn’t worry about it to much; I’m sure he’ll be here soon. He probably just needed to cool off and lost track of time.”

The young man sighed, glancing out the window. “Everyday, I watch towboats leave this town and everyday…” he gulped. “Everyday, I wish I could leave this life and never look back.”

* * *

_10:10 a.m._

“There. That should do it.” Phineas beamed, turning to the men behind him. “May I present to you…the Tree Hugger 2000!”

Leggy P looked at the machine in awe. “Yo P-Man, that thing is _tight_.”

“Yeah Dawg. Now we can hug lots of trees,” Creggy G added.

“No problem guys. All it took was a few minor modifications. I just—hang on.” He reached his left arm across his body, grabbing the phone from a pocket on his shirt, frowning at the name on the caller id as he picked up. “ _What_? I told you I wouldn’t be—hold on.” He removed the phone from his ear, cocking his arm to the side. “So I’m running behind. Calm down Bro. I’ll be there in—I told you, I don’t need to be driven; it’ll just waste more time.” He sighed in exasperation. “I’m leaving _now_ …”

“What’s up P-Man?” Chubby Z asked.

“Sorry guys, but…I have to go. I’m needed down at the docks. I’m supposed to help my brother. You can take the Tree Hugger with you; I gotta run.”

* * *

_11:00 a.m._

Ferb glanced at the clock on the wall of the diner and sighed.

Dipper winced. “I’m sorry man. I’m sure Phineas is fine.”

“I called him almost an hour ago. I don’t have a good feeling about this…” the man stood up, placing a few bills on the table before heading toward the front door. Only to pause as Mabel burst through.

“Dipper! Ferb! It’s—it’s Phineas!” His heart shot into his throat. “He…he…”

His stomach churned as the sound of sirens reached his ears and an ambulance sped past the window.

“He-he—“ Mabel swallowed, taking several deep breaths. “Phineas was racing down the road. I saw him fly past on my way to work. He was about to cross the train tracks when the signal sounded. He-he-he—“ she broke into a sob. “He tried to beat the train. Crashed through the divide. The train ran into the car. He’s gone.”

Ferb raced out of the diner, Dipper and Mabel hot on his heels, following the Brit down to the tracks.

Dipper put a hand to his mouth in horror. “Oh no…”

Flames burst from the train, becoming higher as they hit spilled oil. And there in front of the train, crunched like an accordion, was the red head’s car.

Tears stung the back of his eyes as he raced toward the Caution Tape, heart pounding in his ears. In one leap, he was almost over the barrier…only to be stopped by Sheriff Blubs.

“I’m sorry Ferb; no civilians beyond this point. There has been a terrible accident. We need to keep the area clear for medical personnel.”

“Let me in! I have to see my brother!”

“Was your brother on the train?”

“No, he was in the car.”

The Sherriff’s face paled. He placed both hands on Ferb’s shoulders. “I’m sorry son, but your brother’s gone. He didn’t survive the crash; we had to use the jaws of life to pull his body out of the car.”

“I have to see him!”

“You don’t want to see him. His bones are broken in several places; body’s charred and burned; he died on impact.” Ferb went to protest, only to be cut off. “Son, if you see him, that is the last image of him you will ever have. I don’t want that for you.”

“I DON’T CARE!” With a wail, the Brit leaped over the barrier, racing toward the ambulance.

“Hey! You can’t come over here!”

The Sherriff walked over. “Let him see the body Deputy.”

“But he was pronounced dead at 11:09. He can’t—“

“Let him see the body.”

Derland nodded, slowly lifting the white sheet from the body on the stretcher.

Ferb cried out, sobs racking his body as he sank to the ground, head in his hands. His brother was gone. Dead. Body charred and burned beyond recognition. “I didn’t even get to say good-bye.”


	2. Amazing Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He opened his mouth to say something, only to decide against it. It was best left unsaid. It was because of his brother that he had this amazing group of friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by: I Drive Your Truck by Lee Brice

“Ferb honey, have you visited Phin’s grave today?” Linda looked at her son with concern. “Honey?”

He shook his head, slowly looking up from the breakfast he was picking at. “That’s not where I feel him.”

“Why don’t you go outside? It’s nice today. Maybe you could figure out what to do with his truck. Your Father and I are deciding what should be done with it. It’s been sitting here since the two of you moved to Gravity Falls. We were thinking of selling it.”

He glared at her, slamming his hands on the table as he got up, heading outside, making a point of slamming the screen door behind him.

Three weeks later and it hadn’t gotten any easier. The backyard alone brought back painful memories of the first accident mixed with endless summers spent building amazing creations.

A small smile appeared, only for his heart to clench at the sight of the red head’s Chevy Silverado sitting in the driveway.

Everything about home hurt and Gravity Falls was where the second accident happened. The day he told his brother the red head couldn’t do something because of the stilted gait and missing limb.

Ferb lightly pounded his forehead with a fist as he sank onto the front steps outside the house, rubbing his temples. He was drowning in emotions and there was nothing—

“Ferb?”

His head snapped up, blinking at the person standing in front of him. Isabella had grown up since they’d left, a beautiful woman who’d traded in her pink dress and braid for a long sleeve purple top and white jeans. He smiled slightly at the sight of a light pink bow tying her long, unbraided hair back.

“How are you?” Another blink. “Can I sit down?” He nodded, waiting for her to sit before turning his attention to her.

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel this kind of emotional pain. It’s worse than when Mum left Dad and I. I was only three, to young to remember, but Phin—“ his breath hitched as memories came rushing back. “I-I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save him from the explosion and I couldn’t save him from the oncoming train. Both times I should have been there to protect him, but—“ his voice cracked. “I wasn’t. I-I failed him.”

Isabella gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t fail him. None of this was your fault. There’s no way you could have known or prevented either accident. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

He clamped a hand over his mouth, a tear falling.

“It’s okay to cry. Phineas was your brother. I know how much he meant to you; the two of you were close. It’s okay to feel this way. I’m hurting too. Phineas was my soul mate, my forever love. No one knows more than you how much I loved your brother. But Phineas wouldn’t want us to be sad; he’d want us to grieve and then move on. I know it’s hard right now, but remember what he used to say: always keep moving forward and seize the day.” She leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. “You need to move on. That’s what he would want.”

He looked at her as she stood up.

“I’ll be back to check on you later, okay?”

The Brit nodded as Isabella gave him a half-hearted smile before walking back to her house. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced at the truck again, blinking as the sunlight reflected off a corner of the right hand side mirror. It was such a static thing, mundane really. But…

He stood up and walked into the house, rummaging inside a file cabinet before heading back outside. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

_Days later_

“I’ve sold the mustang and transferred ownership of the truck from Phineas to myself.” Ferb stood outside, surrounded by his friends. “I’m driving back to Gravity Falls.”

“Is that wise?” Baljeet asked.

“Yeah man,” Buford added. “There’s a lotta memories in that truck; what if it gets overwhelmin? Maybe one of us should go with ya. That way—“

“Appreciate the offer, but no. I must do this on my own.”

“You’ll call and check in with one of us right?” Isabella asked.

He nodded.

“Well, if you are sure.” Baljeet extended a hand to him. “I wish you a safe drive back. Please be careful. We are worried about you.” The others nodded in agreement.

“If ya ever wanna come back, whether visitin or livin, ya know where ta find us,” Buford added. “We’ll still be here for ya.”

“All you have to do is call.” Isabella hugged him and a slight smile appeared on the man’s face. “Ferb?”

He opened his mouth to say something, only to decide against it. It was best left unsaid. It was because of his brother that he had this amazing group of friends: Baljeet, the voice of reason, the one who loved math and was always there to lend a hand on any project; Buford, the former bully with a sensitive side who was now on his way to being a big time Film Director. And finally, Isabella, the girl next door, the sweet, gentle soul who had treated him and his brother with kindness, going on more than one adventure with them. Their best friend and partner in crime.

Eyes suddenly moist, he pulled out of Isabella’s embrace, waving to the others before climbing into the truck. A half drank bottle of Gatorade stared at him from the floorboards and he couldn’t help the chuckle as his eyes fell to the ashtray, fingering the coins inside. “Eighty-nine cents.”

He glanced into the backseat, heart aching at the sight of his brother’s old orange and white t-shirt that he used to wear when they were kids. Now faded, it had been used for everything from a rag to clean the car, to a swaddling blanket whenever they had to take Perry to the vet.

Phineas never could bring himself to get rid of the darn thing. “To many memories in that shirt Bro,” he had said. “I can’t just throw it away.”

Fighting back tears, Ferb picked the garment up, stepping out of the truck. “Isabella?”

She turned around, her gaze falling to the shirt as she walked over, eyes full of unshed tears.

“What’s that?” Buford asked. Him and Baljeet walked over, both falling silent at what their friends were now holding.

“Is-is that—“ Baljeet’s voice cracked, a lump forming in his throat.

Buford broke down, body shaking. Isabella followed, the four friends embracing as four pairs of hands clutched the t-shirt, each one unwilling to let go.

After several minutes, the four pulled away and Ferb wiped away the remaining tears from his face, giving another wave to his friends as he once again climbed into the truck. Resolve steeled, his hands gripped the steering wheel a moment before one hand reached down, turning the key in the ignition as the engine and radio blared to life.

_This thing burns gas like crazy, but that’s alright  
_ _people got their ways of coping, oh and I got mine_ __  


He cranked up the volume, taking a shaky breath as he put the vehicle in reverse, backing out of the driveway. He turned right onto the main road, headed toward the freeway. It was going to be a long drive.

* * *

_One week later_

“You know kid, you’re a hard worker. I like that.” Stan stood on the dock, watching as the other man hauled crates over to the waiting towboats. “I’m really glad you came back; it’s hard to find good help these days.”

Ferb grunted under the weight of the crate, heaving it onto the towboat with a groan. He stood up straight, stretching his back out before heading over to the rest of the waiting cargo.

“Look Ferb, I’m not great at being sentimental. In fact, I’m terrible at it. But…” the boss cautiously placed a hand on the Brit’s shoulder. “I know how it is. I had a brother once. I lost him too. We were twins and—“ he hedged, searching for something to say. “Just know that…it gets easier.”

He stood stock still, seeming to study his boss a moment. Finally, he sighed, forcing a smile. “Thank you.” He motioned around the now empty dock. “Do you need me for more today, or—“

“Nope. That’ll do it for today.” Stan took a checkbook from his pocket, tearing out a sheet and scribbling on it before handing it over. “Here you go. First day’s pay. Make sure to be back here tomorrow by ten a.m sharp.”

Ferb nodded, placing the check in the back pocket of his jeans before throwing on the beater shirt he’d left lying in a heap on the ground. He gave a subtle nod to his boss before heading across the street, the bell once again tinging overhead as he walked into Greasy’s Diner.

“Hey man,” Dipper greeted as he sat down. “What can I get you today? We have coffee, tea, burgers…” he tapped his pencil on the pad of paper in his hand. “Oh! We have the Mince Meat Pie you like; Lazy Susan just made some this morning.”

A small smile appeared. “Mince Meat Pie and coffee please.”

The other man hastily scribbled the order down before walking over to the entrance to the kitchen, attaching the paper to a clothespin. “Lazy Susan, one mince meat pie and a cup of coffee for Ferb please.” He made his way back to the table. “So how are you feeling?”

The Brit turned his hand in an okay gesture.

“Well, it—“

“Gets easier. I know.”

Dipper frowned, glancing up as the bell above the door tinged and Mabel walked in.

“Hey Bro Bro. I was on my way to work and thought I’d stop by to see if—“ she broke into a grin, practically jumping into the booth, giving Ferb a tight hug. “Ferb! You’re back! We’ve missed seeing you!”

“First day back.” He gently pushed the woman off him.

“How are you feeling?”

“I already asked him that,” the waiter pointed out.

“And…?” Mabel looked at him imploringly.

“I’m okay. It gets easier I’m told. Though the easy part hasn’t come yet.”

Mabel laid a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “It will.”

“Yeah man.” Dipper slid into the booth across from him. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but things will get better. You just need time to heal.” He paused in thought. “Although that’s probably not what you want to hear right now.”

“Ferb, I know Dipper and I haven’t known you very long, but we do care about you,” Mabel said. “If you ever need us, we can be there in a second.”

“Just call us if you need something or if we can do anything,” Dipper added.

A genuine smile crossed his face. “Thank you.”

“Here ya go! One mince meat pie and a cup of coffee!” Lazy Susan sauntered over to the table, setting a piece of pie and a steaming cup in front of him before pinching his cheeks. “Eat up cutie.”

“Did you miss this place at all?” Dipper asked as Lazy Susan walked off.

The Brit couldn’t help the smirk. He pointed to Lazy Susan. “Well I didn’t miss that.”

“Hey, your dry wit’s back.” Mabel smiled. “You must be feeling at least a little better.”

He gave her a weak smile. “One day at a time.”

* * *

_Later that afternoon_

Ferb sighed as he pulled into the driveway, cutting the engine before climbing out of the truck, watching the sunset.

“Pretty isn’t it? You know, we never did manage to catch a sunset and keep it in a jar. That would have been pretty cool.”

The Brit started at the voice, slowly looking to his left, eyes widening. “ _Phin_?”

“Hey Bro.” The red head grinned. “Surprised to see me?”

“I can’t see you. You’re dead.”

“Only metaphysically. Most people live on after death. You know, in a person’s memory. That’s why you’re seeing me right now; I’m in your memories. I’m not really here. I’m memory, not reality.”

He looked his brother up and down, a lump forming in his throat. “You have your right arm…”

“Sure. You’re remembering me before both accidents. The way I used to be.”

“Gait?”

“Oh yeah.” He waved the comment away, jumping up and clicking his heels together. Ferb laughed, only for a slight cry to escape his lips. “Really? You’re crying over me?” Phineas made a move to playfully punch him in the arm and the Brit could have sworn it was real. “Come on Bro; man up.” The red head turned serious. “You know Ferb, it’s okay to be sad. I know you miss me; I miss you too. This is the first time we’ve ever really been separated from each other. But you can’t stop living just because I’m gone. You have to move on.”

“But I never got the chance to say good-bye, or apologize for what I said that day. By the time I saw you, you were already gone.” His body shook with silent sobs. “I didn’t mean what I said. I—“

“Ferb?” He looked up, watching as Dipper came up behind the tailgate of the truck. “Hey man, are you alright? I know you made that joke at the Diner, but you still seemed off. Thought I’d—“ the man grunted as Ferb wrapped him in a bone crushing hug.

“He’s gone. I’ll never see him again.”

The other man returned the hug. “Hey man, it’s alright. Everything will eventually get better.” Ferb pulled away, looking at him. “I promise. It just takes time.”


	3. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good-bye. That’s what he should be doing. Saying a final good-bye to his brother instead of holding onto the memories. But he couldn’t let them go. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by: I Will Not Say Good-Bye by Danny Gokey

_Two months later_

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Mabel peered into the back of the truck, pointing to the various objects inside. “Didn’t you and your brother make most of these?”

“Yes, we did.” Ferb couldn’t help the wistful smile. “There were more from when we were children, but they disappeared everyday.” The twins exchanged a puzzled look. “Hard to explain.”

“Seriously man, why give all this away?” Dipper picked up a tag hanging from some sort of recording device, reading from it. “Animal Translator.” He picked up another tag on a different invention. “The Platy-Posterior. Huh.”

Mabel snorted at the name, looking at another tag. “X-Ray Glasses. Whoa!” She picked them up, placing them on. “They really work too! Dipper, I can see your skeleton!”

He cringed, swiping the glasses from her. “That’s not creepy.” He glanced at the other tags. “Super Shoes, Hair Growth machine, Giant Game of Darts call Isabella Garcia Shapiro, antigravity dumbbell.” The man put a hand to his chin in thought. “You know, you could make a lot of money selling these instead of just giving them away.”

The Brit shook his head. “My brother never wanted to make money off of our inventions; he always built them to help others. I’ll be giving them away to people who need them.”

“And you’re sure about this?”

He nodded.

“Well, good luck,” Mabel said, grabbing the X-Ray glasses from her brother and placing them back into the truck bed. “Hopefully you find people to take them.”

* * *

_That afternoon_

_I will always see your face  
_ _in the shadows of this haunted place  
_ _I will laugh I will cry shake my fist at the sky  
_ _but I will not say good-bye—_

Ferb shut off the radio as he pulled up to the house. Good-bye. That’s what he should be doing. Saying a final good-bye to his brother instead of holding onto the memories.

But he couldn’t let them go. Not yet.

His gaze fell to the empty truck bed as he climbed out. Today had been a success at least; he’d given away most of the inventions him and Phineas had made.

All except the X-Ray glasses prototype.

He chuckled at the memory of the day they made the glasses, slipping them on. He frowned, his gaze landing on a crop of nearby bushes. Calmly, he took the glasses off, hanging them on his shirt. “I know you’re there. I can see you. Show yourselves now or I’ll run you off the property.”

The five beautiful men emerged from the bushes, tentatively looking around. “Yo Dawg,” one of them said, “where P-Man at?”

“Yeah man,” added another. “We haven’t seen him for weeks. It’s lonely without him here.”

Ferb grunted. “What do you know about loneliness?”

“Lots!” Creggy G spoke up. “We’re all alone in this world yo.”

“There’s five of you.”

“Doesn’t mean we don’t get lonely.”

“We have feelings Dawg.” Deep Chris looked around. “Seriously, where’s P-Man at?”

“Gone.”

“He go on a trip?” Leggy P asked. The Brit shook his head. “Then where is he?”

“Deceased.” The men shot him a confused look and he sighed in exasperation. “He died.”

The five men stared at each other a moment before turning a collective gaze to him, speaking in unison. “Of what?”

“Accident.”

“Yo man, that’s rough,” Chubby Z said. “You two were tight.”

“Yeah Dawg,” Greggy C added. “We didn’t know him that long, but P-Man talked about you all the time. He said you blamed yourself for the accident where he lost his arm and that it wasn’t your fault.”

His eyes filled with tears. “Get out.”

“But we were just tryng to—“

“GET OUT!” He picked up a nearby rock, lobbing it at the men, causing them to go running into the forest with a collective whimper. Ferb snorted in the direction of the bushes before disappearing into the house, re-emerging minutes later with a bottle of beer in his hand.

Alcohol seemed to be the only thing that could dull the ache these days. He twisted the top off, sitting down on the edge of the porch before taking a sip, grimacing at the taste. It wasn’t great, but it helped. He took another sip, starting at the sight of something sitting on the opposite end of the porch.

A machine seemed to stare at him, a metal body complete with a pair of robotic arms and legs. He eyed it a moment, his gaze shifting to the forest as one of the men he’d chased off earlier cautiously made his way to the porch.

Ferb smirked; if the man had been an animal, he would have had his tail between his legs.

“Yo Dawg, we’re sorry about your brother. We thought we’d give this to you.” He motioned to the machine. “It’s a Tree Hugger P-Man made for us. It’s supposed to hug trees, but we thought you could use it. You know, because you’re sad and everything.”

The Brit gave a weary sigh. “Thank you.”

“Don’t you wanna see what it does?” Ferb shot the man a withering look and Deep Chris whimpered, backing off the porch before running back to the safety of the trees.

He rubbed his temples, taking another sip of beer before standing up, walking to the other end of the porch. He surveyed the machine; more metal than anything else, there were two buttons on the top. He pressed the one marked AUTOMATIC.

Immediately, the machine whirred to life, its robotic arms flailing as it stepped off the porch, making a beeline for the nearest tree.

The Brit followed behind, watching in mild fascination as the robot wrapped the extendable arms and legs around the trunk, shimmying halfway up the tree before stopping. It hung there for about five seconds before slowly dropping back down to the ground, shutting off.

Well, his curiosity was piqued at least. He pressed the second button, marked MANUAL, raising a brow when the machine failed to respond. Suddenly, a slit opened in the front and a piece of paper spit out, fluttering to the ground. He picked it up, reading:

_Manual Setting Instructions: Sit down in front of the robot and spread your legs out. Then spread you arms out like you’re giving it a hug. This will start the manual response_

Ferb did as the instructions said, watching in wonder as the machine seemed to recognize the action, kicking on. But what happened next amazed him; the robotic arms suddenly retracted, being replaced by two human looking arms. The main body of the machine turned itself inside out, revealing a surface made of inflatable vinyl.

The machine reached out, the human arms pulling him into a gentle hug. He started to resist, only to set the beer bottle down, returning the machine’s hug and burying his face in the vinyl covering.

Finally. No one telling him it would get better; no explaining what happened to his brother; no more well intentioned but empty words of comfort. Just a pair of soft arms with nothing to say.

It was the best thing that could have happened in the last two months.

Slowly, he pulled away, watching as the arms retracted, becoming robotic once more, the main body turning itself back into the metal surface. For a moment, he sat and stared at it, debating whether to ask for another hug. But it was getting late; the machine would probably rust if left outside all night.

Ferb stood up, grunting as he attempted to pick up the machine. After getting a firmer grip, he walked back to the house, carefully stepping onto the porch before nudging the screen door open with a foot. He felt his way into the kitchen, groaning as he hefted the machine onto the kitchen table.

While trying to catch his breath from the small amount of exertion, the Brit’s eyes noticed another piece of paper sticking out from one of the robot’s arms. He gently pried it loose, eyes filling with tears as he read what was on it.

_To Do Today:_

_Clean the garage_

_Finish the Tree Hugger 2000_

_Meet Ferb at the dock at ten_

_Apologize for what I said earlier and forgive Ferb for what he said. He’s been really sad lately and I don’t know what’s wrong. I know he’s protective of me, but he can’t keep treating me like a little kid. Still, I know he only does it because he loves me. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t care so much. I should tell him I love him._

_Tell Ferb I love him. He’s not just my brother. He’s my best friend. I’m sorry for what I said and I know he’s sorry for what he said too. We’d never intentionally hurt each other._

The tears fell freely, forming into small puddles on the kitchen table as he lifted his eyes heavenward. “You forgive me.”

And just like that, a weight was lifted off his shoulders and for the first time since both accidents, the dull ache was replaced by a feeling of happiness and peace.

He’d been forgiven. He could finally let go of the pain and move on.


	4. Gone But Not Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know,” started Isabella. “It’s like Phineas is still here with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by: Favorite Flowers by Luke Bryan

Ferb stood outside the wrought iron gates of Danville Cemetery, breathing in the warm air. It was summer again and despite everything, Danville was still home. He started to walk towards the familiar plot, stopping as the sound of singing reached his ears.

“So it must have been the way the sunlight hit you and shined upon your face. Or how the rain would find you on the driest of days. Your smile in the morning, the way you’d reach for the sky. How you danced in the breeze as people walked by…”

He started walking again, discreetly hiding behind a tree, giving the woman some privacy.

“So it must be true, what I once heard…” Isabella wiped away a tear, setting a bouquet of flowers in front of a headstone. “God picks his favorite flowers first.” She smiled. “Hope you like the flowers Phin.”

“He’ll love them.”

Isabella turned around, the smile widening. “Hey Ferb.”

“Hello.” He walked over, giving her a sideways hug, smiling as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Are the others here yet?”

“They should be here soon. Baljeet—“

“We are here!” Baljeet walked over to them, followed by Buford, the former bully holding a basket aloft.

“We brought food too!”

The woman laughed and his heart soared. After a year, it felt good to smile again, to hear his friend’s laughter.

“Yo Ferb! Catch us up! We haven’t seen ya in a year!” Buford set the picnic basket down, helping his friends spread out a blanket.

“Oh yes. How are things?” Baljeet asked, reaching for the basket and pulling food from it. “How is Gravity Falls?”

“How are Dipper and Mabel?” Isabella asked.

“Ya know, we’ve never met these new friends of yours. You ain’t ditchin us, are ya?” Buford teased.

He smiled as he sat down, accepting a sandwich from Baljeet. “Certainly not.” He turned his attention to Isabella. “And they’re doing fine. Keeping busy.” He paused to take a bite of sandwich, chewing in thought. He swallowed before continuing. “Mr. Pines works me hard and keeps me busy, but other than that…” he shrugged.

“Your new friends taken care of ya when we ain’t there?” The former bully pointed a spork at him. “Cause if they ain’t—“

“ _Buford_ ,” Baljeet scolded. “His new friends are probably great assets.” He turned to the other man and the Brit nodded in confirmation. “See?”

“Good. Cause if they ain’t, I’m drivin up there and given them a beatin.” Ferb smiled at the idle threat, motioning towards Buford. “How I’m doin?” He nodded and the former bully broke into a grin. “Man, I talked ta Clive Addison a few weeks ago and he’s looking at gettin back into special effects. Says he’ll do some for the big movie I got comin up.” His eyes widened. “Well, maybe not big. But I’m entering something in the Danville Filmmakers Festival.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

The Brit turned to Baljeet and the man held up a finger, waiting until he’d swallowed before answering the unspoken question. “I am doing fine. Being a Professor has been keeping me very busy.” He smirked. “Such an unruly class though! It is all I can do to keep order some days!” He laughed. “But there are those students who make teaching worthwhile. There is this one student…”

Ferb munched on the rest of his sandwich, content to not interjet anything as he listened to his friends talk about their lives. In a way, his brother’s death had brought them closer together, even though he no longer lived in Danville.

When silence suddenly prevailed, he turned his attention back to his friends; everyone sat facing the headstone, looking thoughtful.

“You know,” started Isabella. “It’s like Phineas is still here with us.”

“Yeah man; I swear I can feel him.”

Ferb looked around the Cemetery. Finally, he shrugged, turning back to the conversation.

But if he would have looked just a little harder, he would’ve noticed an angel with a triangle shaped head and shock of red hair watching them from a distance. The angel smiled, twirling his halo on a finger before flipping it onto the top of his head, stepping into a bright white light.

A gentle breeze floated through the cemetery and the Brit could have sworn he heard the red head’s laughter, followed by three simple words:

_Love you Bro_


End file.
